E-Portfolio Link

https://drive.google.com/folderview?id=0ByPNfxP4WAqmUThHaGdGWHFzQTg&usp=sharing

Violence Stemming from Video

 

 

      I thought that this group did a very  good job with there presentation and did a very good job at informing us about a topic that is a big problem today. They had credible sources and did a very good job at backing up some of there statements. They had a lot of examples and a lot of information that I did convince me to think that there is more violence caused by video games then I thought. I was very entertained with the presentation but I feel like the group could have been overall more enthusiastic with there presentation. They were very straight forward with there presentation and waisted no time going over there main topics. I overall liked the presentation a lot and thought there were very few mistakes.

Hypocrasy is a Whore

Saul, Bryan, Carlos

 

 

                        This presentation was very confusing and had me really confused what the main point was. I did not find myself persuaded towards anything after they had presented there speech. They had a very confusing topic and I don't believe they did a very good. They talked about how there is a difference between a prostitute and a whore which had me very confused. They also did not show a lot of emotion during the speech. The topic interested me but the actual presentation did not really interest me. They also did not do a very hood job at taking an even amount of time. There are points to work on, in this presentation but they could easily be fixed.

 

 



 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 



Space Exploration

 

 

 

Blake, Daniel, Doyle

 

                The presentation was very well presented and delivered by Blake, Daniel, and Doyle. They talked about something different out of the ordinary which was space exploration. They talked about if there were to be more lift offs, would they be run by private companies or the government. They explained how today there are many private companies that have the ability to make this happen. The one thing that I criticize is the fact the they did not spread the amount of talking evenly with in the group. I felt like one of them was talking the whole time. Other than that, I thought the presentation was great and really had my attention.

 

 



Truth Behind Diets

 

 

       This group I believe did a very good overall job presenting and did very well job at delivering there message. I really like how they each gave there own opinion about the topic at the end of the presentation They talked about the truth behind diets, they said the most diets are not very healthy and people should not go on diets for the wrong reason. All there voices were very loud and clear which allowed the whole class to hear. They all talked about the same amount of time, which means they spread around the topic and was obvious that they rehearsed. 

Should College Athletes Get Paid

Ivan, Fransisco, Andrew

https://docs.google.com/presentation/d/1goBekT6OW3-ZkM3jyT7be2VLemsUOyj4OJfpRPQJX_g/edit#slide=id.p

Fast Food in America

Matt Hevlod, Jose, Brett

 

 

     This group had a very interesting and funny presentation. They talked about a big problem in the United States which is the amount of fast food there is. The examples they mentioned and facts they said really made there presentation. They used images of over weight kids just to show you how much of a problem it was. They did a very good job at delivering there presentation, they made the audience laugh which makes students more in tune with the whole presentation. The only thing I can criticize is the language. There were some cuss words in the presentation.

Show Me the Money

Dana, Thor, Ben and JB

 

 

      I thought this presentation was also very well done and presented. This is a topic that I can relate too and they used many interesting facts that I did not know. They mentioned that the 1989 the Student-athlete Advisory committee was established and also said who started it. This surprised me because I had no idea that there was a committee. They did a very good job at keeping the audience in tune and interested. the thing that they could work on is that it could be a little more rehearsed, but other then that, they used very good examples.

Altered State of Legality

Spencer Fry, Thai Xrong, Melissa Bojorquez

 

 

     The presentation about legalizing marijuana was very well done I thought and was very informative and insightful. They did a very good job with the information and really did persuade me to legalize the drug. They did a very good job at being enthusiastic and really knew there material well. They had a lot of eye contact throughout the presentation and the presentation was not boring at all. The only thing I would say that could be a little better is too talk a little more freely instead of following a certain script.

 

 





Ivan Ramirez

English 1A

1/14/14

Source 1:                   Why College Athletes Should get paid; Huff Post Sports;

Tyson Hartnett, entrepenuer, writer, professional basketball player; October 21, 203

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/tyson-hartnett/college-athletes-should-be-paid_b_4133847.html

            Why College Athletes should be paid by Tyson Hartnett gives very good reasons on why collegiate athletes deserve to be paid and also talks about some of the flaws that the public sees about this situation. He says that an average full scholarship for a division 1 program is about 25000 dollars a year, which totals up to 100,000 dollars for four years. The scholarships cover school fees, tuition, housing, and a meal plan.  This may seem like a lot of money, but it truly only covers the basics said Tom Hartnett. Being a full time athlete is basically a full time job. Most teams wake up around five or six in the morning and have some sort of lifting or fitness session, have class until 3, then practice comes in. It’s a full time job and the athletes don’t have time to get a part-time job on the side for the other money needed. On top of that many organizations and programs are making millions of dollars off these soon to be pro athletes. “The school makes millions of the bigger sports and so does the NCAA which claims to be a non-profit organization”, stated Tyson Hartnett. He said that we shouldn’t pay athletes a whole bunch of money, he said that 2,000 dollars a semester would be enough for the other costs. For example, spending and additional food money. He also talked about how this violates NCAA rules. But the NCAA was founded in 1909 and has changed dramatically. He stated that if the playing field changes, then so should its rules.

 

Source 2:  Debate Club, Should NCAA athletes be paid

http://www.usnews.com/debate-club/should-ncaa-athletes-be-paid

 

            This article by the debate club talks about who the real winners are when huge colligate sporting events come on. They used the 2013 March Madness as an example of the message they are trying to convey. Every March Madness there are two national championship winners, one for the guys and one for the girls. But the article states that when you think about it, who are the real winners? Could it be there corporate sponsors, broadcasts, and ultimately the NCAA itself? The article talked about how much different organizations and businesses make off this college basketball tournament. It stated that CBS, a broadcaster for these games made more the 1 billion dollars off these games last year and the NCAA as a whole makes more the 6 billion dollars a year. The players themselves on the other hand don’t see any of the money even they face career ending injuries every time they step out onto the court. There are many who question if colligate players should see any of this money.

Selecting, Slanting and Charged Writing

 

 

       In the reading "Selecting, Slanting and Charged Writing" talks about how different people see the world I  different ways due to the language principles that many people use. Due to this same reason people have altered the world and every single person has there own views. These principles change the outcome that we have on our perception of the world. This reading covers the concept of language and communication. For example, many different people may have different opinions about a certain objects due to there back ground and the type of language and communication that they use in there everyday life. It also covers how our perception is altered by the way we word certain facts . The wording that facts and opinions are said could give us a positive or negative connotation of the topic or object being talked about.

Ivan Ramirez

 

English 1A

 

1/4/14

 

Reading (Research)

        On the reading on the Everyday Writer, it talked about  the necessities needed for when writing a good research paper. it gave you both guidance and tips that are very useful when it comes down to writing a good research paper. It also talked about places where you could potentially start your research. For example it talked about starting in the library, internet, or field research. All these places are a good place to start your research for academic and non-academic pieces of study and it is also the foundation for the rest of your research. Research my be difficult on your own, which is why there are librarians to lead to the right direction. They could lead you to related books about different topics or can even just simply point you to a good encyclopedia. The reading basically covered the foundation on what it takes to write a research paper and helped a lot with the pointers on what to do and what not to do when writing the paper.





Ivan Ramirez

4/2/14

English 1A

Hawaii

            The place that I went for the first time that I thought was incredible and completely loved was Honolulu, Hawaii over my summer of 2013. We stayed at a very nice Hotel that I forgot the name off, but just the overall experience of being in Honolulu was incredible. I went there for a soccer tournament with my team. My club soccer team’s name was Santa Clara Sporting and we were there for Far West Reginals, which is a very though tournament that many good teams across the Western United States compete in. The part where we stayed at had many tourists from all over the world.  Since our hotel was right by the beach, we met people from Europe and a lot of other places. We also visited many cool spots while in Hawaii. Some places that we went were Diamond Head, which is a huge creator that you could clime and we also went to the North Shore which is a very nice beach. We mainly played soccer when we were there due to the fact that we were there for a tournament. We had a game everyday and usually had to recover during the afternoons. We did see many street performers while walking down the street and amazing beaches that I feel could not be topped. I would definitely go back in a heart beat because everything about Honolulu was amazing and I enjoyed a lot. The weather id very nice, The beaches are great, and all the people were very friendly and made you feel comfortable and welcome. If I had a free ticket to go anywhere in the world, I would choose Spain. Spain because it is somewhere that I’ve always dreamed of going and my favorite soccer team is from there.

Ivan Ramirez

 

 

English 1A

 

 

3/21/14

 

 

Ms. Fleisher

 

 

 

Concussions in Soccer?

 

 

 

 



 

 



Ivan Ramirez

English 1A

3/21/14

Concussions in Soccer?

            Concussions are something that is very common everywhere but are also something not to take lightly. Concussions often lead to worse injuries such as permanent memory loss, and may even cause retardation if left untreated. They occur with hard contact or collision to the head and some of the symptoms are memory loss and dizziness. Concussions occur more often in more physical sports such as football and hockey. These types of sports have constant collisions within players and have a lot of head banging that goes along with it. The thing that many people may not know is that there are also many concussions that happen in soccer. Many people think that soccer is a relatively safe sport and that the only true harm it causes is to your legs. But in reality it is one of the sports where concussions happen more frequently. I made a clay brain for my Three-D rhetorical object to spread awareness of the amount of concussions in reality occur in soccer.  In this paper I will be explaining what my artifact represents along with the materials I used and why I chose those certain materials.

            My brain consists of clay and it is basically two parts. On one side of the brain I have medical tape rapped around it representing damage and a concussion. The other half of the brain is normal which represents no harm and a completely healthy brain. One the injured half of the brain I have all the soccer players from Sacramento State that got concussions during the season and on the healthy side I have all the soccer players that did not have a concussion or any harm done to their head what so ever. I cut out their faces from our team picture and glued them onto there brain to show people a more and better visualization on how common concussions do occur in soccer. On the top middle of the brain I put a big S representing Sacramento State and wrote soccer underneath it to show people that this is a real life example and that soccer team at Sacramento State is a prime example of just how frequent concussions are in soccer. I outlined parts of the brain in black to add more detail and I chose the color black due to the fact that concussions are not a laughing matter and that they are not a good thing. Black isn’t known to be a happy playful color which is why I again chose the color black for the outlines.

            I chose to make the brain out of clay because it has the same texture and softness that a real life brain would have. I did not want to make the brain out of a hard substance due oi the fact that it would not have been as realistic and did not represent a brain well. I chose medical tape out all types of tape due to the fact that we are always around medical tape. Soccer players see or use medical tape on the daily. Weather it is to tape up your ankles before practice or tape an injury during a game, we use it on the daily. I also thought it represented an injured brain well. I used real life pictures of the players on the team because I believe that it will send the message I am trying to convey in a more effective way. People may know some of the players on the team that have gotten concussions and may become more interested in the issue. Looking at the faces of people who have actually gone through this, sends a more effective message compared to just statistics or stick figures. I made a large S and placed it at the top of the brain and made it green, because of course it is our school’s main color.

            The size of my object is not very big, it is about the same size as a brick. I did not want to make the brain too big because I wanted to keep it somewhat realistic. I wanted to make it about the same size and actual human brain is. The texture of the brain is a little rough and bumpy because a real brain is bumpy as well. A real brain has a lot of cresses that go around it, I tried to imitate it as close as possible. The intended audience for my project is anybody who is interested or unaware of the likelihood of concussions in soccer. I did not really target a specific audience, I just made it so that anybody is opened to it. I try to use and emotional appeal to persuade people to become more aware by placing actual pictures of the players. Seeing real life people will make people feel a little bit of pity and hopefully make them more concerned about the ongoing issue.

            The biggest message that my artifact displays is the awareness of concussions and that’s what I was going for. I think that my concussed brain does a very good job of conveying the message or spreading out the awareness. It is easy to tell which side of the brain is concussed and people will be surprised of how many concussions happened throughout just one team. It will be spreading the awareness of it and will hopefully catch a few peoples interest.

            I think that this way of conveying or sending a message is the most effective compared to the other three genres that we displayed. They are similar and different in many different ways. They are similar because they are all ultimately sending the same message and they all have to do with the soccer part of concussions, compared to other sports. They are also similar because they all use words to get across the message, all four genres had at least a few words when trying to convey there message. But they are also different in many ways as well, some used words more than others and others used more of a visual aspect to send the message. I believe that the three-D artifact sends the message the strongest and is the most effective because it makes the spectator think more and really challenges them to figure out what the message is. It forces them to analyze more critically and makes them think much deeper compared to just reading words or watching a video.

            Overall, I enjoyed making my concussed brain and I believe it does the job that I wanted it to do. I did not really go through any hard obstacles when making the brain, the hardest part for me was thinking about the idea. I struggled a lot thinking of things I could make that would send a strong enough message to the viewer. I constantly changed ideas until I stumbled upon this one. My biggest success is the fact that I am satisfied with its appearance and believe it sends the message or awareness I wanted to get across in an effective way. I believe that I deserve a B or a C in this assignment because I put a lot of work into my brain and I think it does send out awareness about concussions in soccer. It is not like it’s a completely irrelevant object, I believe my brain does what it needs to get done and does it in an interesting way as well.

 

 

My object that I will be creating is a brain that brings awareness to both concussions and how concussions affect both individuals and a team overall. My brain will be made out of the following materials: Plato, medical tape, Clothes, player pictures, and electrical tape.

 

 

Plato: I chose Plato because it is soft and it represents a human brain in the fact that they are both tender and very sensitive. It represents an average brain well in many aspects.

 

 

Player Pictures: I chose to put actual players pictures that got concussions and who haven't. It will give you a real perspective on how common concussions are and it shows you actual people who have gotten them.

 

Medical Tape: Medical tape because we are always around it and put it on all the time, weather it is for practice or games it is always around us.

 

Green Clothes: Green clothes for the S because we were wearing our green jersey when our major concussion of the season occurred.

 

Black electrical Tape: Black tape  because it shows hoe dark certain parts of our season were and it shows you how all these negative things affected our season.

 



 

Ivan Ramirez

 

 

 

Everyday Writer (SWA)

 

 

        This reading covered many information that proved to be a critical thing to learn. One of the biggest things that the section covered was explaining what a rhetorical situation is, which is all the elements surrounding any type of communication. He explained it by comparing it to a triangle and incorporated the text, the audience, and the communication along with it. he also went over critical reading and gave us many tips for it. For example, previewing the text before reading it. He also shows graphs to show his message and had many other tips that came along with both of these concepts.



 



Ivan Ramirez

English 1A

3/5/14

Ms. Fleischer

Writing Styles    Draft 3        

There are many different styles of writing and different ways on sending out messages rather than just text on a piece of paper. There are thousands of different genres of writing that help us both communicate and advertise things that we may not notice them when we see them. You can communicate through twitter, Facebook, ads, signs, etc. These are all different genres of text that we use and see daily, it is amazing how many different tecniques, genres, and styles there are out there available to us when trying to send out a message. Being able to analyze all the different genres is a very important skill to have. It is important for many reasons, for example to just simply understand what’s going on. Many people get lost or confused when reading a piece of literature or even finding out the meaning behind a picture. Being able to analyze and annotate these different genres will definitely help you now and in the long run. The three different types of genres I selected for this paper are all very different. One of them is a 2013 Hornet Soccer schedule and media guide, the other is a You Tube video that recaps one of our games, and my last one is an Academic journal about soccer and all the concussions that come along with playing a sport. I think all of these topic tie in together and gives you a taste on how our season really did go. You see some of our highlights and I wanted to talk about concussions due to the fact that we had many last fall. We had a total of five concussions last fall which had a great impact to our season, this is the reason all three are related or tied into our season. In this paper I will compare and contrast between the genres.

            The form and layout of each of these genres is completely different and they all have their own way on delivering a message. My first type of genre is our 2013 soccer schedule and media guide that informs everybody where and when each of our games are. It is green all around and it has action shots of some of our players. At the very top of the poster is one of our players celebrating a goal and as you look underneath him you see the rest of them. There are a total of seven players in the media guide that gives you excitement and joy for the upcoming season. My second type of genre is a You Tube video recapping one of our games against UC Davis. There are a lot of visuals in the genre due to the fact that it is a video and it not only shows highlights, but also some of the most impactful moments throughout the game. It plays music throughout the video which also adds excitement. The third piece of writing is the academic journal talking about concussions in soccer. The article is pretty plain, but does have a logo at the top of the paper and covers the material well.

            The tone of the soccer schedule and media guide I feel comes off as loud and aggressive. It come off as loud because there are a lot of bright colors and people that makes it easy to look at and gets your attention easily. It also has bold lettering which adds to the loud aspect of it and all the game faces make it aggressive because they are action shots, not smiling people. The video has a much different tone compared to the media guide. It is more of an informative and exciting type of tone. Informative because it shows you the main events that happened throughout the game, which basically allows you to have an idea of how to game went. Exciting because you are watching footage and makes you feel a part of the game. The tone of the article is more informative than anything. It gives us information about concussions and gives us an estimate of how many soccer players actually do get them, which personally left me curious. It left me a little curious because I play soccer and it made me wonder if it’s only a matter of time if I’m going to get a concussion.

            A very important part when delivering a message is the language you use in them, the style in which you deliver it, and your use of visuals. The media guide and soccer schedule do a very good job at the use of their visuals and the style in which they draw you in. The action shots of the players are used to catch your attention and will eventually lead you to take a look at the schedule. The intended readers for these are anybody who wants to go out and watch a soccer game. They are not really targeting anybody in particular. The video also uses very good use of their visuals and also delivers the recap very well. Bryson Hotano plays music which keeps you interested and adds excitement to particular moments in the game. This also does not target a particular group, it is meant to whoever is interested on how the Sacramento State Hornets did. The article only has one visual but delivers it good too. It is on the top of the page which usually makes it the first thing people see. The information within the article was delivered strong and used many examples which kept the reader entertained.

            The authors for the academic journal are Barry. P Boden, Donald T. Kirkendall, and William E. Garrett.  Barry P. Boden and William E. Garrett both received their PHDs and Donald T. Kirkendall received his MD. These are very credible sources due to their knowledge and the amount of evidence they showed. They proved that concussions is soccer are more common than expected and proclaimed. They studied seven mens and womans soccer teams and saw how many got concussions and what caused the concussions. There were twenty-nine athletes that eventually obtained a concussions and these men also figured out the cause of each concussions. The highlight video against UC Davis was made by Bryson Hatano and he is also a very credible source. He has made many highlight videos for all sports here at Sacramento State and is an employee here at CSUS. The media guide and schedule is also very credible due to the fact that it was made by people here in our own athletic department. All the things it says within it is accurate and the schedule itself is also very true.

            The purpose of the media guide and schedule is to inform you about all the games throughout the season along with making you excited for the upcoming season. Which will hopefully persuade you to attend more games. The bright colors, bold face letters, and players catch your attention and the way its set up makes it look like an event that you would not want to miss. The highlight video also does a very good job at informing about the game. The purpose of the video is to give you an idea of how the game played out. Many things make the video effective. One of the main things that I have already mentioned is the music that is played throughout the video. It adds excitement to the viewer and it does a good job of informing you about the game. The purpose of the academic journal is too inform you about concussions in soccer and to give you an understanding on potentially how dangerous it can be. The amount of evidence the article had and the fact that they had an experiment made the article effective to me. It kept my attention throughout the whole article and did a good job of informing me as well.

            Out of the three genres I believe that the academic journal had the most effective message. I believe it had the most effective message because it covered a topic that many people think is important and it provides much evidence that give soccer players like me think twice before going in for a hard tackle. The genre that I thought gave the least effective message was the highlight video of Sacramento State versus UC Davis. I thought it was the weakest because it was just a highlight video and it was about a past event. I thought it did a very good job at informing the reader and keeping them entertained, but it definitely had the weakest message. The message of the video is simply the score of the game, which is why I believe it did have the weakest message. There are different genres that give the same message, but here are also many of the same type of genre that are very different and similar. This is the case because the information within that specific genre can be very different to what the other contains. The style of it could also make the difference on how the message is received which makes a total difference and makes both similar genres completely different.

            There is a huge difference between the genre, message, and delivery. The genre of anything is what type of text it is or what type of style something is. For example, is it an ad, a paper, or article? The message is the information the type of genre was giving you, what was it persuading you to do. Finally the delivery is how the message was given. Did the genre have color? Bold face words? Did it catch my attention? All these questions are answered by the delivery of the genre. All three of these aspects work together to send across one message but are very different. Each one is very different and are all independently important when trying to send a message. But they cannot work without each other when trying to successfully send a message.

            I do believe that the types of texts we read do affect us both as individuals and a society. Reading makes you sad, angry, and sometimes even excited which may or may not affect your actions later. Some ads make us very angry and some ads make us want to jump out of our seat. Rarely do people go through reading a text or add without feeling some sort of emotion. Reading affects all of us whether we like it or not and is something that has gone on for many years and may more years to come.

            Overall I believe that all three genres were effective in their own ways and my opinion on the most effective one might be different in your opinion. All genres are more or less effective to different people. Having different types of genres keeps things interesting and gives people different options on how they want to release a message. Like I said before, it’s not just paper and ink now a days. There are so many ways now like twitter, Facebook, commercials and many other ones. I believe that this just shows us on how we are growing and how far we’ve come. I believe that as years go by we will be creating new and creative ways to send messages. Hopefully there will be plenty of new genres and styles in the future that we could add to the list.

Ivan Ramirez

English 1A

3/5/14

Ms. Fleischer

Writing Styles    Draft 2

            There are many different styles of writing and different ways on sending out messages rather than just text on a piece of paper. There are thousands of different genres of writing that help us both communicate and advertise things that we may not even notice them when we see them. You can communicate through twitter, Facebook, adds, signs, etc. These are all different genres of text that we use and see daily, it is amazing how many different tecniques, genres, and styles there are out there available to us when trying to send out a message. Being able to analyze all the different genres is a very important skill to have. It is important for many reasons, for example to just simply understand what’s going on. Many people get lost or confused when reading a piece of literature or even finding out the meaning behind a picture. Being able to analyze and annotate these different genres will definitely help you now and in the long run. The three different types of genres I selected for this paper are all very different. One of them is or 2013 Hornet Soccer schedule and media guide, the other is a You Tube video that recaps one of our games, and my last one is an Academic journal about soccer and all the concussions that come along with paying the sport.

            The form and layout of each of these genres is completely different and they all have their own way on delivering a message. My first type of genre is our 2013 soccer schedule and media guide that informs everybody where and when each of our games are. It is green all around and it has action shots of some of our players. At the very top of the poster is one of our players celebrating a goal and as you look underneath him you see the rest of them. There are a total of seven players in the media guide that gives you excitement and joy for the upcoming season. My second type of genre is a You Tube video recapping one of our games against UC Davis. There are a lot of visuals in the genre due to the fact that it is a video and it not only shows highlights, but also some of the most impactful moments throughout the game. It plays music throughout the video which also adds excitement. The third piece of writing is the academic journal talking about concussions in soccer. The article is pretty plane, but does have a logo at the top of the paper and covers the material well.

            The tone of the soccer schedule and media guide I feel comes off as loud and aggressive. It come off as loud because there are a lot of bright colors and people that makes it easy to look at and gets your attention easily. It also has bold lettering which adds to the loud aspect of it and all the game faces make it aggressive because they are action shots, not smiling people. The video has a much different tone compared to the media guide. It is more of an informative and exciting type of tone. Informative because it shows you the main events that happened throughout the game, which basically allows you to have an idea of how to game went. Exciting because you are watching footage and makes you feel a part of the game. Even though I played in the game, I still got excited at the moments where we did good things and disappointed at our bad moments. The tone of the article is more informative than anything. It gives us information about concussions and gives us an estimate of how many soccer players actually do get them, which personally left me curious. It left me a little curious because I play soccer and it made me wonder if it’s only a matter of time if I’m going.

            A very important part when delivering a message is the language you use in them, the style in which you deliver it, and your use of visuals. The media guide and soccer schedule do a very good job at the use of their visuals and the style in which they draw you in. The action shots of the players are used to catch your attention and will eventually lead you to take a look at the schedule. The intended readers for these are anybody who wants to go out and watch soccer game. They are not really targeting anybody in particular. The video also uses very good use of their visuals and also delivers the recap very well. They play music which keeps you interested and adds excitement to particular moments in the game. This also does not target a particular group, it is meant to whoever is interested on how that Sacramento state Hornets did. The article only has one visual but delivers it good too, it is on the top of the page which usually makes it the first thing people see. The information within the article was delivered strong and used many examples which kept the reader entertained.

            The authors for the academic journal are Barry. P Boden, Donald T. Kirkendall, and William E. Garrett.  Barry P. Boden and William E. Garrett both received their PHDs and Donald T. Kirkendall received his MD. These are very credible sources due to their knowledge and the amount of evidence they showed. They proved that concussions is soccer are more common than expected and proclaimed. They studied seven mens and womans soccer teams and saw how many got concussions and what caused the concussions. There were twenty-nine athletes that eventually obtained a concussions and these men also figured out the cause of each concussions. The highlight video against UC Davis was mad by Bryson Hatano and he is also a very credible source. He has made many highlight videos for all sports here at Sacramento State and is an employee here at CSUS. The media guide and schedule is also very credible due to the fact that it was made by people here in our own athletic department. All the things it says within it is accurate and the schedule itself is also very true.

            The purpose of the media guide and schedule is to inform you about all the games throughout the season along with making you excited for the upcoming season. Which will hopefully persuade you to attend more games. The bright colors, bold face letters, and players catch your attention and the way its set up makes it look like an event that you would not want to miss. The highlight video also does a very good job at informing about the game. The purpose of the video is to give you an idea of how the game played out. Many things make the video effective. One of the main things that I have already mentioned is the music that is played throughout the video. It adds excitement to the viewer and it does a good job of informing you about the game. The purpose of the academic journal is too inform you about concussions in soccer and to give you an understanding on potentially how dangerous it can be. The amount of evidence the article had and the fact that they had an experiment made the article effective to me. It kept my attention throughout the whole article and did a good job of informing me as well.

            Out of the three genres I believe that the academic journal had the most effective message. I believe it had the most effective message because it covered a topic that many people think is important and it provides much evidence that give soccer players like me think twice before going in for a hard tackle. The genre that I thought gave the least effective message was the highlight video of Sacramento State versus UC Davis. I thought it was the weakest because it was just a highlight video and it was about a past event. I thought it did a very good job at informing the reader and keeping them entertained, but it definitely had the weakest message. The message of the video is simply the score of the game, which is why I believe it did have the weakest message. There are different genres that give the same message, but here are also many of the same type of genre that are very different and similar. This is the case because the information within that specific genre can be very different to what the other contains. The style of it could also make the difference on how the message is received which makes a total difference and makes both similar genres completely different.

            There is a huge difference between the genre, message, and delivery. The genre of is what type of text it is. For example, is it an ad, a paper, or article. The message is what information the type of genre was giving you, what was it persuading you to do. Finally the delivery is how the message was given. Did the genre have color? Bold face words? Did it catch my attention? All these questions are answered by the delivery of the genre. All three of these aspects work together to send across one message but are very different. Each one is very different and are all independently important when trying to send a message. But they cannot work without each other when trying to successfully send a message.

            I do believe that the types of texts we read do affect us both as individuals and a society. Reading makes you sad, angry, and sometimes even excited which may or may not affect your actions later. Some ads make us very angry and some ads make us want to jump out of our seat. Rarely do people go through reading a text or add without feeling some sort of emotion. Reading affects all of us wether we like it or not and is something that has gone on for many years and may more years to come.

Ivan Ramirez

 

English 1A

 

 

Movie Analysis

 

      All three movies were very different and had their own type of uniqueness to them. You could tell they were all from completely different time periods not just by the picture, but by also the type of music they played and a little by the plot. The one that was obviously the oldest was the Nosferatu. Nosferatu is a silent movie and was all black and white which indicated that it was from the early 1900's. It was very glimmer and the music in the background was the thing that built suspence throughout the movie. The clothes were very outdated and the acting was not the best. everything was overly dramatic and was easy to tell there was not much experience.

 

     The Shining was a more recent and had many aspects that proved it. The Shining did have dialogue and actually had color through it. The lighting was very bright throughout the movie and it also built suspence through music. As the parts throughout the movie got scarier, the music got louder. The camera angle was super close to everybody as well. The conjuring was the most recent out of the three movies and was personally the scariest to me. The lighting was dark due to the fact that it was night time, but it was bright enough to see everything. the camera angle was not too far from the characters but was also not too close. the acting was by far the best, the actors made it feel as if you were part of the experience and had you very in tuned and connected with the movie.

 



 

 

Ivan Ramirez

Peer Work Shop follow up

 

 

A.) I learned a lot from reading my classmates papers, the biggest thing I learned were some ideas on how to better my own. I saw some of the mistakes they did and some of the good things they did that I would like to change on my paper.

 

B.) The biggest suggestion that I had with my paper was formatting stuff, I did not use MLA format properly and my margins were not the right length. I also got told to fix some of the wording on my sentences and to add more detail on some parts of my paper.

 

C.) I agree with there comments because after re-reading my papers there are many things I need to fix that they mentioned. I will take it into consideration when writing my paper because it was good helpful advise that will make my paper better. They pointed out mistakes that need to be fixed. Like I said before, I did find the person helpful because I would have for sure missed some of the mistakes I committed if he did not point them out.

Ivan Ramirez

English 1A

3/3/14

Response 1

                The latest movie that I have seen I one of my classes was Fruitvale station by Ryan Coogler. It was for my first year seminar class last semester and we didn’t choose it. We had to write a cultural paper and that movie was what our paper was supposed to be about. I believe that Fruitvale station had many different messages and everybody has their own message that they got from the movie. The message that I got from it is that we have to stand up for each other and unite as one when bad things occur. After the incident that happened at the Bart station everybody stood up and let their voice be heard, there were many riots, and strikes that just showed how everybody was affected by the young man’s death. It was a movement against racism that everyone was speaking out too. There were many major events that happened throughout the movie, but the biggest part had to be the part were Oscar Grant, the main character, got shot in the back and ultimately died. He was a father who was trying to change is life and his life fatally ended one night on his way back home. This movie relates to me and many other people because it has to do with racism. I have personally gone through a lot of racism throughout my life since I am Mexican and many other people have gone through it too, no matter of what descent. There is still a lot of racism around the world which is how it relates to current events. I have seen many movies about racism but never one like this. I have only seen this movie once and haven’t seen many movies exactly like this one. Overall I really enjoyed this movie a lot and I recommend anybody who has not watched it, to watch it. I like it because it delivers a strong message and it allows you to see things in a different perspective.

Ivan Ramirez

 

English

 

 

Shitty First Draft Summary



 

 

 

"Shitty First Draft" Ann Lamott says that it is okay to have a bad first draft when you are writing. She says that it is part of the process when it comes to writing. Ann says that everybody believes that great writers do not go through struggles, that they just magically write masterpieces and write great in general, when actually they go through the same struggles that we do. Throughout the article she talks about her struggles with writing and talks about how bad her first draft usually is. Ann would say that her first draft would be way too long sometimes and I  some occasions way too short. The message that she wants to send out through this article is that it is okay to have bad first drafts because that's what first drafts are for. All the editing and perfecting doesn't come until the second and final draft.



Ivan Ramirez

English 1A

2/24/14

Genre Analysis

Form number 1: Texting Conversation with a teammate.

            My first type of Genre Analysis is a texting conversation with one of my teammates. It looks pretty plain and it sounds pretty slang. Were just talking about practice and all the stuff that we have coming up for the team. For example, team meetings and games.

 

 

Form number 2: Advertisement for Senior Game

 

My Second type of Genre analysis is an advertisement for our soccer team’s senior

Game. It looks pretty cool because it has pictures of four of my teammates in action. It is also loud because it has a lot of big letters that catch your attention and will hopefully convince you to go out and watch the game.

 

 

Form number 3: Springer Link Journal

 

            My Third type of Genre Analysis is A Springer Link Journal that talks about how athletes us medicines and energy drinks to enhance their performance. The journal looks interesting because it has bold face words and catches my attention quickly. It is also loud because it covers a topic that is important and is very much an issue today.

Ivan Ramirez

English 1A

2/21/14

Draft 3

 

There have been many things and people that have influenced both my writing and reading skills. I have traveled to many places and met many people that have had a huge impact in my writing and reading. I used to be one of those kids that was never really confident in his writing ability along with his reading as well. I am usually a very confident person but I was never truly confident when it came down to reading and writing. I would never have a very high reading level when I was younger and was basically playing catch up trough the years. My first language was Spanish and I did not learn English until I was in third grade, which is why I feel like I didn’t have as high reading and writing scores as my peers. I am a soccer player and have always been confident about my soccer ability, but when it came to school it was a different story. I have two younger brothers Alan and Omar and they all have had to go through the same struggle that I had to go through when I was a kid. But with It all went away during high school after I got much advice from friends, teachers and constantly practiced. It took me a while to get confident but after long hours of putting in the work I am content with my writing ability. There have been many teachers that have contributed to my writing ability today and have had many friends that have had a huge part in it as well.         
        The teacher that I have had so far that has had the biggest influence in both my

reading and writing skills has to be Mr. Roman. Mr. Roman was my English teacher my junior
year of high school. He taught me so many skills and tactics that comes to do with my reading
and writing that I still use today and plan to keep using. They aren’t huge skills that
automatically made both my writing and reading better, they were little skills that are crucial
when it comes down to writing a paper. He taught me how to properly plan an essay before I
write it in his own different way.  A lot of teachers have taught me how to plan essays but the
way he taught me was the easiest and came more naturally for me to do. Most teaches wanted
me to go through this whole process on planning my papers, but he taught me to just write
down a list of potential things I am willing to write about and just bullet point main ideas that
will go in my paragraphs. He told me not to go into specifics when it comes to planning, just to
cover some main points. He also taught me not to follow the five paragraph motto that so
many kids are attached too. I will never forget what he told me, he said “Just write until you
think it’s enough”. He also taught me many other things but those are just some of the ones
that have stuck with me over the years.

            Another teacher that has had arguably the largest influence with my writing is Ms. Ferrares, my fourth grade teacher. I know that I was still a young boy at the point that I had her, but she had the biggest influence with me when it came down to learning the English language faster. Like I said in my first paragraph, I didn’t learn English until I was in third grade. While my peers were reading chapter books, I was trying to read picture books. She would always stay after school and in during lunch to help me with my reading and writing. She would teach me how to pronounce words that I did not understand and truly gave me a kick start with my English. I feel like I would not be were I am today if it wasn’t for her willingness to always help me.

            Many of my friends have also had a huge contribution to my reading and writing. My

friends have had more of bigger part when it comes down to my reading and annotating
abilities. I would always forget what I read and would always struggled to find important quotes
I read when It came down to doing a paper on a book that I read. I would always complain
about and wined to my friends about it in many occasions. It wasn’t until my friend Kaylie
McGrady taught me the techniques that she used when she read that I actually started
annotating readings correctly. She told me to underline important quotes and events that I
thought were important. She also taught me to write down little notes after every page I read
to help me out when finding things when I would have to write papers about. I also learned
from her to write a little paragraph summary after reading every chapter to help me remember
the events that occurred throughout the book. I had many friends that gave me plenty of good
advice but she helped me out the most because I started using the techniques right after she
taught them to me.

            My parents have always had a huge part not just in my reading and writing skills, but my education overall. They would usually not be able to help me out because they were not very good with the English language themselves. But the fact that they made me put in the extra hours in reading, writing, and school overall helped me substantially over the years. My mom would always read me books when I was younger and acted like a Ms. Ferrares with me, but at home. She would make me read everyday and had me write everyday as well. No matter how silly the topic she picked was. Even though they were not the biggest influence when it came down to actually improving my writing skills, the work they pushed me to do definitely allowed me to be at the level that I am today.

 Overall I am thankful for all the people that have helped me over the years with my

reading and writing. I only mentioned a few people in my paper but there have been many other teachers and friends that have taught me very important skill sets. I would have to write a ten page paper if I included each and every one of them. I am not saying that my writing is perfect, not even close. I know that I still have a lot of skills to learn and a lot of work to put in if I want to be at the writing level that I want to be at. Right now I am content with my writing ability, but I want to be happy about it. Hopefully I meet many more great teachers and friends that will take me to the level that I am pursuing.

 
                                                                                                                                    Ivan Ramirez

                                                          Draft 2




  There have been many things and people that have influenced both my writing and
reading skills. I have traveled to many places and met many people that have had a huge impact
in my writing and reading. I used to be one of those kids that was never really confident in his
writing ability along with his reading as well. It all went away during high school after I got
much advise from friends, teachers and constantly practiced. It took me a while to get
confident but after long hours of putting in the work I am content with my writing ability. There 
has been many teachers that have contributed to my writing ability today and have had many
friends that have had a huge part in it as well.
 The biggest teacher that I have had so far that has had the biggest influence in both my
reading and writing skills has to be Mr. Roman. Mr. Roman was my English teacher my junior
year of high school. He taught me so many skills and tactics that comes to do with my reading
and writing that I still use today and plan to keep using. They aren’t huge skills that
automatically mad both my writing and reading better, they were little skills that are crucial
when it comes down to write a paper. He taught me how to properly plan an essay before I
write it in his own different way.  A lot of teachers have taught me how to plan essays but the
way he taught me was the easiest and came more naturally for me to do. Most teaches wanted
me to go through this whole process on planning my papers, but he taught me to just write
down a list of potential things I am willing to write about and just bullet point main ideas that
will go in my paragraphs. He told me not to go into specifics when it comes to planning, just to
cover some main points. He also taught me not to follow the five paragraph motto that so
many kids are attached too. I will never forget what he told me, he said “Just write until you
think it’s enough”. He also taught me many other things but those are just some of the ones
that have stuck with me over the years.
  Many of my friends have also had a huge contribution to my reading and writing. My
friends have had more of bigger part when it comes down to my reading and annotating
abilities. I would always forget what I read and would always struggled to find important quotes
I read when It came down to doing a paper on a book that I read. I would always complain
about and wined to my friends about it in many occasions. It wasn’t until my friend Kaylie
McGrrady taught me the techniques that she used when she read that I actually started
annotating readings correctly. She told me to underline important quotes and events that I
thought were important. She also taught me to write down little notes after every page I read
to help me out when finding things when I would have to write papers about. I also learned
from her to write a little paragraph summary after reading every chapter to help me remember
the events that occurred in every chapter. I had many friends that gave me plenty of good
advice but she helped me out the most because I started using the techniques right after she
taught them to me.
 Overall I am thankful for all the people that have helped me over the years with my
reading and writing. I only mentioned two people in my paper but there have been many other
teachers and friends that have taught me very important skill sets. I would have to write a ten
page paper if I included each and every one of them. I am not saying that my writing is perfect,
not even close. I know that I still have a lot of skills to learn and a lot of work to put in if I want
to be at the writing level that I want to be at. Right now I am content with my writing ability,
but I want to be happy about it. Hopefully I meet many more great teachers and friends that
will take me to the level that I am pursuing.

Pg. 58-122 Summary

                                                                                                                                                                                                                    Ivan Ramirez

English 1A

2/14/14

Pg. 58-122 Summary

            There were many things that pages 58-122 covered about writing a good proper essay and ways to help you out with making the process a lot easier. The first thing it talked about was explaining ways on how to come up with a good topic for your essay. Everybody writes better when they know the topic that they are talking about well. Some of the things they said to do were things like brainstorming, drawing, clustering and asking questions. The next step after figuring out your topic is planning and drafting. Some tips that the book said to do were to narrow the topic, to craft a working thesis, and to plan and outline your essay. The reading showed us to develop paragraphs along with choosing the right types of formats. The final step according to “The Everyday Writer” is too review and revise your paper. It gave us many options on how to review and plan your essay, but the most common ones they stated were to reread your paper and to have a peer read and revise your paper as well.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                    Ivan Ramirez

English 1A

2/14/14

Pg. 58-122 Summary

            There were many things that pages 58-122 covered about writing a good proper essay and ways to help you out with making the process a lot easier. The first thing it talked about was explaining ways on how to come up with a good topic for your essay. Everybody writes better when they know the topic that they are talking about well. Some of the things they said to do were things like brainstorming, drawing, clustering and asking questions. The next step after figuring out your topic is planning and drafting. Some tips that the book said to do were to narrow the topic, to craft a working thesis, and to plan and outline your essay. The reading showed us to develop paragraphs along with choosing the right types of formats. The final step according to “The Everyday Writer” is too review and revise your paper. It gave us many options on how to review and plan your essay, but the most common ones they stated were to reread your paper and to have a peer read and revise your paper as well.